“That’s all small talk is – a quick way to connect on a human level – which is why it is by no means as irrelevant as the people who are bad at it insist. In short, it’s worth making the effort.” —Lynn Coady

A common topic of conversation that my husband and I have had since we’ve met is small talk. We both agreed, at least at the time, that we didn’t like small talk. Maybe it’s the Gen Z side of us or maybe it’s simply just the whims of youth. Then something shook that perception. The other day, as one does, my husband was scrolling through the wild wild west of YouTube Shorts and came across a snippet from the podcast called A Bit of Optimism that had Trevor Noah in it talking about this very topic. At first, my husband was inclined to just keep scrolling, but then he said something that stood out.

“What we don’t realize is that small talk is what connects us as people and big talk is what separates us. So if you have the foundation of a lot of small talk, you find similarities…”

I think people often forget how much we actually need that connection with each other because we get so caught up in our own world. As the saying goes, “it’s your world. I’m just living in it.” A lighthearted quote that has a lot of truth to it. Life has a tendency to take over and sometimes the thought of small talk is exhausting. Just get to the point. The small talk has got us here. And we hate it here. I get it. But hear me out.

Small talk shouldn’t be about some underlying agenda, and honestly for some it may be, but for most people they just want to connect. They want to feel deeply. It’s about opening doors for people. A way of saying, come inside. Stay a while. Small talk is the connection that allows for bigger, deeper more meaningful conversation.

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Trevor Noah maybe a controversial figure for some but if you haven’t seen this interview before I highly suggest you watch it. It’s a wonderful conversation! (A Bit of Optimism)

XOXO,

Shay

Dedicated to my husband, my constant muse.

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