Learning is all about connections, and through our connections with unique people we are able to gain a true understanding of the world around us. – Peter Senge

As some of you know, I live for the nuances of life. I daydream in the world of in between. I suppose that’s why my soon-to-be English degree is fitting. Today is one of the gray area conversations, one that my husband and I often have, especially as parents trying to navigate this new age world.

We grew up very similar but also very opposite. And those opposites often shed new light on how I view things. Although he faced his own issues in life, he wasn’t raised in the extremes that I was. I treasure his gentle and wise soul. I was raised in two extremes, with one tainted in religion. On one side, women were the “right hand of Satan.” On the other, the mindset of modern feminism. And if I am honest, it left me with bitterness. At first, I was angry with women for letting me suffer and never pulling me out. Women catapulted themselves off my back to get to their destination. Then I was angry at men for thinking that my growth was their demise. For telling me I was evil simply for how I was born. Inadequate.

But then, over time, my anger quelled. The fire behind it vanished, and I was left with clarity. Being loved so gently by a person often helps one flourish in that way. I stopped pointing fingers and started to look through a lens of empathy. Man, woman, however you present yourself, it doesn’t matter. We are all guilty of projecting the worst of ourselves onto people, especially the people we are supposed to love. Usually from a place of misunderstanding or lack of knowledge. Maybe even selfishness. The rigidity of some beliefs distracts us from connecting with each other. They cloak the light of growth and hinder one of the most precious beauties of humanity: curiosity. All of it rooted in fear. Fear of more. Fear of knowledge. Fear of lacking.

And social media doesn’t help. It feeds into the him versus her mentality. And we forget we are all products of our societal circumstances. But every day we can choose to look past that. To pick lifting the best qualities of each other up and working on the lowest, not because we think we need to meet some kind of social agenda, but because it’s beneficial to all of us as both individuals and as a collective. It leaves no space for the ones who want division for distraction or control. We owe to one another love, boundaries, and most of all… understanding.

With all the love,

Shay

If you are interested, here are a couple poems/books that inspire my husband and I! I’d love to hear about pieces of literature that inspire you in the comments below or on my socials! 

If by Rudyard Kipling

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

There are so much more!

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